A week or so ago, Elton John’s mother celebrated her 90th birthday, she did so without the presence of her son. To make matters worse, she booked an Elton impersonator for the party!
Sadly, a rift has developed between mother and son on the subject of gay marriage and surrogate children raised by gay couples. This rift apparently began with something Sheila ( Elton’s mother) said to Elton’s husband. It may well have been an offensive and crass remark.
But what can be more heartbreaking for an elderly mother to have been estranged from her son for seven years- and to have never met her two small grandchildren?
In loving families, we forgive and forget, especially as our parents grow older. They may well have politically incorrect opinions, and what we now consider outdated ideas. However, judgements formed way back in their youth are difficult to shake off. They grew up in an era when homosexuality was not only unacceptable; it was illegal.
Similarly sex before marriage was frowned upon and any woman who indulged or produced proof of her sinful ways via a pregnancy was certainly a pariah in her community and could no longer expect to find a suitable husband. Vestiges of these anachronistic views still pervade the thinking of some old people.
So do we discard our parents because of those outdated beliefs? No we do not! We make allowances for their age and remember the enormous debt we owe them.
In Elton’s case, that’s his entire career. He admits his obsession with music started when his mum brought home records by Elvis Presley and Bill Hayley & His Comets. And it was she who cared for him alone after his father walked out.
Now Elton is a multi millionaire, nay billionaire, surely he’s big enough to put the row behind him for the sake of the mother who nurtured that colossal talent. And doesn’t he also have a duty to do so?
The trouble is that it’s not just Elton who fixates on his children whilst neglecting his old mum. As a society , we lavish time, attention and money on our little ones as never before, even taking out loans to buy lavish Christmas presents which are neither needed or appreciated, yet scandalously, little on the people who brought us into this world.
While our young are hot- housed, pampered and indulged, our elderly are often neglected or consigned to care homes with just the odd duty visit.
We must open our hearts to our elderly relatives, no matter how irritating they may be, and give them the time and attention they deserve.
Beware: We ourselves may be that old person someday!